Comfort
by AxelCat
Summary: Kurt needed Blaine, and vice versa. Kurt disappeared, now he's back, and all he seems to need is Brittany. (This story probably makes no sense.)


Blaine didn't know how it had come to be like is. He truly didn't. He was so confused, so scared, and above all, lonely. He curled up around himself, with his head in his knees, and thought back to the happiest day of his life.

_"Blaine?" the little brunette boy murmured._

_"Yeah, Kurt?" was the whispered response. Blaine turned over in his best friend's arms so they were nose-to-nose._

_"You know I like you, don't you?" Kurt asked. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, making his breath heavy. He tried to avoid meeting the fifteen year old's eyes, but finally give in. His heart seemed to stop, just for a moment, but little to his knowledge, Blaine's did, too._

_Blaine kissed the tip of Kurt's nose with a small, contemplative smile. "Yeah, I know." A long, heavy pause. "Do you know I like you, too?"_

_"Yeah, I know." They giggled quietly, and, shared a quick kiss, as they had been doing since they were four years of age. This time, though, it meant something special. Something new._

_"Boys, get some sleep," Burt murmured against the door. "We're meeting Britt and Santana real early in the morning, you know that."_

_"Okay, dad..." Kurt sighed, disappointed, and Blaine kissed him again - this time, however, it clung a little, lasted just a little longer, made their hearts beat just a little more heavily. "I like you a lot."_

_"I like you a lot, too." They giggled again, and Blaine buried his head in Kurt's shoulder. The brunette finger-combed his unruly curls and kissed the side of his head. "'Night, Kurtie."_

_"Night, Blainey."_

_The next day they left at three in the morning to get to their camp ground on time, with Brittany and Santana in tow. They made hot chocolate to go with their sausages and eggs, and curled up for a nap as soon as the tents were up. They went walking down three bush-trails that day, and ran into the Hudson family. They were having an amazing time, in all honesty. Kurt and Blaine kept sneaking off, 'going to the toilet,' to steal kisses from each other, and just giggle some more. When evening fell, Burt immediately got the four children set up in their tents before slipping into his own. He never heard Kurt leave his tent, never heard Blaine's sleepy whisper of 'wait for me to come with you,' never heard his son's screams. All he heard was silence, and when Kurt Hummel was around, there was no silence._

_For four years, all there was was silence._

"I'm sorry," Kurt whispered from the doorway. "I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. I'm sorry I had a drink before bed. I'm sorry I didn't listen to dad's warnings. I'm sorry I dropped my phone. I'm sorry that they found me, and that that they did to me what they did. I'm sorry that I can't relate to you any more, and that I don't love you like I used to, and I'm sorry you're hurting so badly. I'm sorry..." He bit back a sob. "I'm sorry that I still love you very much, just in a different way, and that I can't trust you any more! I'm sorry that I turned to Brittany, I'm sorry I'm not gay, I'm sorry I slept with her, I'm sorry that I liked it! But it all happened, and it's all awful, and scary, and confusing, and I'm sure I feel ijust/i as alone as you do, Blaine, but... I am sorry." He kneeled in front of the man and slid their hands together.

"Why not me, Kurt?" Blaine whispered. "You never told me why. Why do you have to go to silly, confused, unloving, female Brittany, instead of your best friend? Instead of your first love? Instead of... instead of me?" He felt tears rolling down his cheeks. "I waited for you. I never went on a date, I never made another friend, I never slept with anyone, and I prayed to the Gods, every single fucking day that you would come back. Britt never mentioned you. She forgot you - she doesn't love you!"

"And that's just why she's right." Kurt cooed quietly and stroked Blaine's hair back from his forehead. "There are so many reasons that it's Brittany and not you, sweetheart, but... I'll simpli-"

"No. Tell me everything. I think I deserve to know."

Kurt nodded and sighed. "She doesn't look at me like I'm broken. She doesn't... she doesn't treat me like I need to be treated differently. Secondly, she doesn't understand - she won't ask questions, she won't go out of her way to skirt around the subject. I can't... I can't fall in love with her, because she's a girl, so I can't get too attached again, only to have it ripped from me just when it started to matter. I won't... she won't... it doesn't mean anything to her. And it doesn't mean anything to me. It's just a means of getting comfort from her body, and just a means of her getting comfort from mine. Blaine, I... you need comfort that I can't give. I need comfort that you can't give, because you're too scared to get in close out of fear that you'll break me even more. You scare me because I care so much, love you so much, after all this time, that I don't want to have found out that you've changed..."

"Kurt! How have I changed? I had an emotional growth stunt that lasted two years after you w-were gone, I haven't moved around anything in my bedroom, I haven't made any new friends, I don't even listen to new music..!"

"And I'm holding you back from all of that!"

"I don't care! Kurt, we were together in some form or other since we were four years old, I'm not letting you go over anything, even... even if you're l-letting me g-go."

Kurt sighed deeply as a single, perfect tear trickled down his cheek.

"You know I love you, don't you?" Blaine whispered.

"Yeah, I know," Kurt murmured back.

"Do you..?"

"No. No, I can't. You can't. We can't."

"Yes, we can. Kurt, look at me. Do I look at you like you're broken?"

Kurt glanced at him. "N-no."

"Do I make you feel weak, inferior, or broken in any way, whatsoever?"

"N-no."

"Then why can't I be the one to comfort you? Why can't I be the one who you let hold you? Why can't... why don't you care any more?"

Kurt broke down, just then, from those simple words. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and sobs tore their way out of his body. Blaine immediately put his legs down and pulled the boy into his arms, allowing him to hide his head in his shoulder. "I love you, Kurt. Even if you don't love me."

"I _do_ love you," Kurt choked out in between sobs. "But..."

"Let's not..."

"Can you just..?"

"'I'll be your rock, and you'll be my kite.'"

"'I'll be your comfort, after the fight.'" Kurt sighed deeply as his sobs died down, and he nuzzled into Blaine's shoulder. "I'm scared of you."

"I'm scared of what you've become."

"But you still need me."

"Yes."

"And I think... I might need you."


End file.
